{Moi}

Esther
Knows that Daddy God loves her the most.
His love is not to be wasted.
So, she boldy asks Daddy God to grant all her desires
And they all come to pass, in Jesus' Name

*loves:
Daddy God
{Myself
{My family
{My friends
{Alot of other things too immunerable to mentions

*loathes: Religious, self-righteous Zealots

{flies

{Believing Daddy God for}


$10,000 for personal indulgences and to buy pressies for others
Driving license and a mini cooper
My own quaint shophouse.
CTM status by the end of the year
Good results for all semesters, and 1st class honors
Lose 5 more kg to my ideal weight. (Though I'm not Fat!)
{External links}

Main blog (Totallyminxed) }
 Totallyminxed @ multiply}

{express}
insert thy tagboard or cbox
{credits}


 Afianne
 Blogskins.com
 Angelic-trust
Honeypot
 Foto Decadent
{bygone}

 October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] January 2006[x] April 2006[x] July 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] October 2007[x] August 2010[x]








Sunday, August 01, 2010
I've been here almost three months and despite the fact that I have good friends, I am feeling really miserable about my situation. One word spells out my troubles: GUYS. After eight years in a relationship with Kevin, I am having doubts - once again - about my relationship with him. Of course, the the catalyst which so violently disturbed the calm sea of feelings is none other than the handsome Zachary Quinto lookalike, Mr New Zealand. aka. NZ. (His name is so commonly used, it's hard to forget even if I don't mention it here.)

You see, I came to Ghana with one thing in mind - To buff up my CV. But this whole internship has turned out to be more like a melodramatic Mexican Soap Opera. Honestly, I haven't really done anything worthwhile to buff up my CV because I am so riddled with distraction by NZ. (Lol, just realize the first letter of acronym 'NZ' refers to his name.) Argh... my heart stirs up with longing and regret every time he pops into my mind. Longing because I want to see him, I want to go out with him, I want to kiss him, hug him yadda yadda... Regret because he was kissing me on a weekly basis at Duplex over the world cup season. He told me he liked me. Twice. And it all stopped due to my stupid actions rooted deep in guilt - fessing up to Kevin about a half-truth that 'I kissed a guy'.

After which NZ completely cooled off towards me. Even though his friends and housemates keep telling me that 'he still likes me' and that 'I could make the first move' (I did try), all my attempts are futile because of one complication - I am attached. And he doesn't want the drama of being the 3rd party in a relationship. Again, my relationship with Kevin has caused yet another handsome and nice guy to back out of my life. (Previously, I remembered there was a chance with L during my NTU days.)

Sooo... let's now come to the questions that remain - Why am I still with Kevin? Do I love him still? (Oh I know he loves me plenty, but can I offer him the same love he is giving me?) Am I afraid of being single? Am I afraid that if I'm single, there would be no one to bring me over to Australia? And that my career path would be rooted in Singapore forever?

I am deeply ashamed to say that such questions only reflect my shallow and selfish nature but hey, it's time I have to be honest with myself. Let's start with the first question: Why am I still with Kevin?

Answer: The good part of being in a relationship with Kevin is that we have known each other for 8 years. He knows my habits and he doesn't mind me wearing a sloppy shirt and jeans when we hang out. He can somehow tell my next move (Good and bad). I like the times we spent at his house, him doing his own gaming and me just studying my lit, reading or playing with Sugar. I like watching movies and TV series with him too. I would say that he is basically the only person who understands most parts of me. Of course, we both enjoy fine dining as well. I will never forget how much he treats me to expensive dinners. (I certainly have to date a guy who loves to enjoy his food). And of course I love Sugar, his cute westie. The best dog in the world.

The bad part of being in a relationship with Kevin .... well, let's just say that he is incredibly stubborn, extremely petty, has a health problem that makes him cranky. I'm sorry for saying that, but the fact alone that Kevin has to take medication for the sake of sustaining his kidney does not constitute a normal relationship like most people. In a way, I want to have a healthy boyfriend. I want him to be able to eat anything he wants. I want him to be able to enjoy life. In a way, seeing Kevin being denied all these things somehow... I'm sorry for saying this.... deprives me of enjoying these simple pleasures jointly as a couple. That's it I think, we are a couple. But people don't even know that I'm attached unless I tell them because he simply isn't involved in my life. He's only been to my university once - to watch me act in a play, and he made the trip with great reluctance. I don't mention his name in front of my parents, who simply acknowledged him as my friend. We only have a handful of common friends. I can't converse properly with his parents in Cantonese - dinner at his house always contains some form of awkwardness.....

Let's delve deeper into the root of the problem shall we? He is the one guy I sex with. Made love to. Yes, I'm Christian. But this is the one area which I have serious problems with. I think sex is wonderful. And I think the sex both of us had somehow binded our souls together. We sometimes think alike, we finish each other's sentences, know what I mean? That's why sex should be kept within the confines of marriage because you are tied to the other person no matter what. And that is what makes separation so painful because you will forever carry a shard of that person in your heart. I think that's the main reason why I can't bear to break up with him. Somehow a part of my guilt felt that in order to make up for having pre-marital sex is to marry the guy I had sex with... so I can officially say that I only slept with one person in my entire life. That I'm afraid the next guy I meet would think I'm a slut for losing my virginity. Yeah...that is what I had been thinking all along. That somehow I didn't believe God will restore me and give me a good husband. Is that why I've been avoiding marriage till now? Like I've been despising the whole 'getting married to each other and buying a HDB flat, having children etc.' Is that the reason why I ran away from Singapore? Because I can have an excuse of enjoying an expat/intern life, building up a career to avoid the marriage path? To run away from responsibility?

The bottom line of what the Bible says is very clear. You should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. So technically, I'm not even supposed to be with Kevin because we are on different spiritual wavelengths. He does not believe in tithing. He does not really understand the power of the Holy Communion. He does not believe in a God who helps the helpless. He thinks life sux constantly because there is no God whom he can turn to cast his cares and burdens everyday. All these hard facts have been dwelling at the back of my mind since the day we got together.

So basically, I shouldn't be with Kevin in the first place - but so many things have happened between the both of us over the 8 years. I have let it drag on for far too long. And now it's the first time someone crossed into my path. NZ. If I'm a non-Christian, it would be totally legit to date him. In a way he is no-no in the first place. He smokes (was drawn into it), he says 'fuck' (but so do I), he is extremely extroverted, being an ang moh, he has no qualms about pecking the cheeks of girls - this I am still trying not to fret over because it's a cultural thing. (I get pecked on the cheek and hugged too.) Let's start from the day it happened shall we?

I was having fun at Duplex, dancing with my friends. NZ was there. And I was chatting with him normally, smiling like a total ditz. Of course, at one point there were only four of us, Ducky, Jaq, me and NZ. Ducky proceeded to make a move on Jaq who immediately reciprocated. I think NZ was motivated to do the same and so he asked me to kiss him. And goodness knows what I was thinking: oh wait... I can remember.... I thought he was very good looking and it would be sad to deny this handsome guy a kiss. It was almost like dare. And I stepped up to it. First kiss felt awkward to me. Oh well, I was the awkward one, because he said it felt like I was obliging him. And so to prove him wrong, I kissed him again... longer... with tongue. It felt good. It was good. After sooo long.... it felt so good to be desired, to be kissed, to have a guy's arms wrapped around me.

Next few times happened at Duplex, in NZ's car, in the taxi. I particularly like the 3rd time when we kissed - inside and outside Duplex. Will never forget it. I was wearing this nice white dress (apparently someone told me that I drove all the guys crazy that night - was really flattered to hear that; never had that compliment come my way before). Apparently I think I drove NZ crazy as well because the two kisses we shared (inside and outside Duplex) cause the world to grind to a halt. Just the two of us, with me biting a bit of his lip (Tip from Ducky) causing him to tongue me more passionately with his hand on the small of my back. My gawd... I'm blushing even as I'm typing this. Love the kisses that happened in his car too. We were sending the DTs back to the LC house with Ana at the back of the pickup with them. Only both of us were in front with one half-drunk guy sitting in the rear and NZ confessed that he likes me. Loved it when he stole a kiss from me and the goodbye kiss we shared at my doorstep (Like it meant something serious... like he wants to seriously be with me - kind of kiss.)

NZ is a real gentlemen. I slept on his bed twice, once with him right next to me, in his boxers. But he did nothing, only held my hand as we slept from a late late night of partying. I enjoyed the text messages he sent me too. Seemingly talking about normal things, trying to appear cool. Enjoyed the ONE coffee date we had, just talking about normal stuff. None of the heavy questions at all...

Like I said... the kissing stopped after I confessed to Kevin. It's amazing that Kevin forgave me. However, NZ and his housemates got the wrong idea that I chose Kevin over him. On the surface, it makes perfectly good sense. Why would a girl risk 8 years of an established relationship over someone she just met over 2 months ago? But here I am having second thought about my 'attached' status.

Actually, after the kissing stopped, I assumed that the whole thing with NZ was merely a fling, like what Westerners liked to do. That's okay, because from another perspective, you could say that I was 'using' NZ too to satisfy my emotional needs for intimacy and romance because the bf was far far away on the other side of the world. I was really on my way to forget NZ when ACT, his Brazilian house mate told me, on the farewell party night for Jaq, a shocking truth - NZ still likes me, but he is avoiding me because he thought I wanted Kevin more. I cried so much... so much... at my stupidity.... cried soooo sooo much.... that both ACT and Tat had to comfort me. When I finally calmed down, I came down from the stairs and NZ asked me why was I super depressed a few weeks ago... I told him that it was hard for me to say and he said that he understands and that he reassured me that he will never try to kiss me again - which was the exact opposite thing of what I want him to do.

I think this is the regret that has dwelled in my heart up till now. Just this Thursday, Dgo, this cool Jap guy, his housemate also told me that he likes me alot. That I should just break up with Kevin and it will be good. I think he is trying to imply that NZ would get back with me if I'm single again. But will he? If I break up with Kevin and expect NZ to get back with me meant that my reasons for breaking up with Kevin are not for myself, but for NZ. And what if he doesn't get back with me? I would then be so lost... and so desolate. That's like losing a mansion over a hut that wasn't even there. The worse thing for me is that ACT is now overseas. She'll be back hopefully on Wednesday. She promised to work out some ahem 'magic', but I'm not sure whether the 'magic' (basically her telling NZ how I feel) has taken effect.

So far things between me and NZ are normal. We talk on gtalk (with me mostly initiating the conversation). I kissed NZ on the cheek twice at Duplex (Once was when he told me he wouldn't kiss me again and then I told him I liked him so much). Don't know whether it meant anything to him. The most obvious clue I can gather is that Ducky told me he was giving me fleeting glances while we were in Duplex, when I was tipsy, dancing and smiling my sweet smile. I could tell many guys wanted to dance with me, but I only wanted him.... I want him... Sounds desperate huh....

My biggest disappointment with him was that he couldn't make it to Akosombo with us. We went in the end, to Aburi Gardens. On Saturday night, when we played truth or dare, I remembered in my vodka-pissed state, I cried and cried and said that I missed him. Freedom and Monica had to comfort me. I basically vomited and cried like my heart was broken to bits. Worse, Ducky sent him a 'half drunk' message on my hand phone saying 'Where are you? I miss hanging wirh!!!' masquerading as me. His reply: 'We watched a movie and just went for quick dinner round the road but home now! going to akosombo tomorrow ourselves so early getup. hope you guys had a fun day!' Ducky said that I basically threw the ball into his court... and if he doesn't respond meant that he is not worth my attention.

And if I break up with Kevin, it meant that my heart will either be broken twice in a row or broken once but patched back up by NZ. The thing is... logically speaking, being with NZ will only be short term gratification. The truth of the matter keeps staring at me in the face: have I really put God as the first Guy in my life? Have I dared to be single and alone with God? With no guys around? Even if nobody wants me, God is the only one who wants me, who loves me unconditionally, virgin or not. And He definitely wants me to have a good husband who trusts in him and who will take care of me and love me.

All my life, I wanted to be desired by guys. I wanted a handsome boyfriend. Ang moh is a bonus. Ha... my shallowness is finally uncovered. I want to be an expatriate's wife. I want to travel. I want guys to tell me I'm beautiful. I know I am. And God knows all my wants. So have I arrived at a solution to my complicated life? Break up with Kevin. God will catch you when you fall. And amazingly, he will not let your heart smash into smitterins. I can afford to let not my heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (of whether NZ will not get together with me, or whether I will be alone) because Jesus' heart was broken for my sake. I have the peace that surpasses all understanding.. the shalom peace that Jesus has which calmed the storm and the raging sea. I am already secure because Jesus is my number one MAN in my life.

Lord, if I have to break up with Kevin, please help me....



2:14 PM

*****

Thursday, October 18, 2007
Dear DaddyGod, it's been really long since I've blogged here. You know everytime I feel sad, I'll come here. Hmm... maybe it's a good thing that I visit this site less frequently because it means that I'm happier? I guess I've found different ways to let go of my sadness. After all, it is merely a feeling.

But you know I'm scared. You know me best. You know that I'm afraid of so many things. You know that I'm crying on the inside as I'm typing this. Maybe it's good to vent my fears after all... so let me be vulnerable for once because I know it will do me good.

I'm afraid Kevin will leave me. Actually I'm afraid that I will leave him, afraid that I will be made to leave me, or that he will be made to leave me. I just want someone to understand me, I want him to understand me, that it hurts.

Oh Daddy, what is wrong with me? Why do I crave the acceptance of man so much? I don't want to be alone. I want to do well. I know I don't sound like I have alot of faith now... but at least I know that I'm under grace. Lord, I want to be a good student, a good girlfriend, a good friend.... successful in whatever she does.... a good VPE.

I want so many things. I want to stop crushing so easily. Take it away! I hate it that I'm so weak in this area. DaddyGod, I don't know what to do. Help me. HELP ME. Help me overcome this..... Hold onto me Lord. You are the only one I can depend on. Not some guy. Not any guy. Not even Kevin. You are the only one who will never let me down.

Because whatever it is, I know you are faithful to me. Faithful to help me complete what I have to do. Like my Victorian literature essay. Help me get started. Give me the divine inspiration, the motivation and the drive to get it done. Whatever it is, thanks for always being here to listen to me. Thank you for loving me. I love you too, but you will always love me more than I can ever expect.

Jesus, I think everyone is very irritating. I want my own space. Oh I don't even know what I am ranting about. But you know what is good for me, and you already placed the good inside my heart. I thank you that I am still the Righteousness of God in Christ. All things will work together for my good because I'm God's beloved Child. Heir of the world. How not to win?

I know I may not be as good as other people in whatever areas of life. But You show them Lord, I give everything to you, my studies, my behavior, my looks, my body, my brains, my essays, my assignments, my exams and its results.... my relationships with others...... I entrust everything in my life to you. I expect to see favor! Tangible. Yes.. I expect you will fulfill your part of the covenant because of Christ's perfect work. I claim all the benefits He has done for me, in Jesus' Name.

Thanks for listening once again. I know I can reign in life because you will never again be disappointed with me, all disappointment has been vanquished at the Cross. There is only good and more good to be seen in my life, starting even from now.

So I guess I should stop ranting and start trusting in your faithfulness towards me. Thanks for revealing your GRACE. Thank you thank you thank you....



6:42 AM

*****

Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I was transcribing Pastor Prince's sermon from 1997; God mysteries of the light part 2 and I found some parts of it interesting. (It's very lengthy though).

So the first thing that came out of God’s mouth that is recorded for us in the book of Genesis is ‘Light be’. And this is not the light from the sun because the sun was not yet, uh, we see the sun was mentioned here in the word of God, later on. Later on. All right? In verse 14, God said, ‘Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night. Let them be from science and for seasons and for days and years. And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, and it was so.’ And God made two great lights, the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also.’Now how many know our sun is actually a star? ...

Okay, so we call it like the sun is the source of natural life on the earth. Okay? So that is true because the sun is amazing. It’s a star; it’s a self-illumination light energy. And what happens is that it absorbs the sub-atomic particles or protons. Remember we studied about that last week? All right? Once upon a time, man thought that all basic matter, whether its liquid gas, whether it is substance you can touch and feel, every matter is made from atoms. It’s true. But that’s not the smallest unit of matter. We’ve find that every substance in this earth, every matter, every physical matter, every natural matter, whether its liquid or gas even you can touch and feel, even your skin, everything is made of atoms. But they stop there.

Later on, science discovered these atoms can be broken down further into some more sub atomic particles and they find that the atom is made from protons and neutrons from the nucleus and is surrounded by electrons right? You all learn that. In your school? You all forgot? So they say, ‘okay now we know that atoms is not the smallest unit of matter. There are protons and there are neutrons and there are electrons.’ And then the latest science is that they broke the whole thing down, further and they find that what makes up the protons, the neutrons and the electrons are some very small particles of light, electrically charged called photons. So that’s the latest. Which means all physical matter is composed of light. Now there are a lot of theories, which are running around in the world today, all right? Even people are saying that the big bang. Once upon a time there was a big bang and that was how the whole cosmos evolved, how earth came about. But science has discovered that the big bang is more than just a theory, its something that happened in a very orderly fashion. There was a big bang all right. And it happened on the northern side of the universe. Now the Bible talks about God being on the north side. That is very very interesting. Do you know that the Bible says, corresponding to the earth, the north side, now NASA scientists have found out that on the north side, there’s a vast expanse of heavens. They call it M87. Amen. Isn’t it interesting? That the Bible calls God’s throne on the north side. Turn with me to Job chapter 26, and we’re building a foundation here. And the science, let me tell you the science, has not prove the Bible. All right? Whether science has caught up with the Bible a not, can I have an amen on that?

So all basic matter is made up of light particles, but again we know there is something behind that light that produces those particles that we can touch and see. And we are looking at that tonight. But look at Job 26 first. Look at verse 7, the book of Job, written one thousand and five hundred years before Jesus was born. Verse 7 of Chapter 26, it says, ‘God stretched out the north over the empty place and hangs the earth upon nothing.’ How in the world 3500 years ago, without the discovery of modern equipment we have to see into the galaxies, how would they know the earth hangs upon nothing? They used to think it hangs upon Hercules or Atlas’s shoulder. Right? But we know there’s no such person. It hangs. God hangs the earth upon nothing. So God is more modern than science back then. Let me just tell you this, whatever science can discover, can come up with, it is not the latest. I mean, they will say, ‘This is the truth of the earliest man,’ and they made a study of it, they spend billions of dollars on it, so finally they realized that it is a truth of a extinct thing, that doesn’t exist anymore. So during the time it was discovered, a lot of Christians get panicky, I mean, the support given to Darwinian theory of evolution and all that, but if you bide your time, you wait on the Lord, you find that the whole thing will be shown as a farce because no one, no one can go beyond God.

God has established, and God spoke. I believe when God spoke the universe into being, there was a big bang. I think when God speaks, there’s always a big bang. And God says, ‘Light be’. He doesn’t say (Weak voice) ‘light be’. You know I don’t think so. I think it was ‘Light be!’ and there was an explosion and all the gases came together and there was a fusion explosion whatever, and there was cosmos. How many of you know there was a big bang. If the world just collided and the gases collided together and then there was a big bang. There will be no cosmos; there will be no order. Look at the order in the universe today. It’s not a big band out of the blue, haphazardly. It is God who produced the big bang that produced order. Amen? So obviously we know that creation can be explained in the book of Genesis and the book of Job. So now that we see something else, God says He stretched out the north over the empty place. What is the north to God? Mentioned in the Bible more than one time, turn with me to Psalms 48. Look at Psalms 48. In Psalms 48, it says ‘Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised in the city of our God.’ Where is the city of our God? On earth it is Jerusalem, but where’s the city of our God? In the heavens. ‘In the mountains of His holiness, beautiful situation, the joy of the whole earth, its mount Zion on the sides of the north the city of the great King.’ The real Mount Zion on the sides of the heavens is on the North side of the earth, in the universe.

Now, is there anything that science has discovered on the North side? Now before we look at that, turn with me to Isaiah 14. Let’s go down further to the book of Isaiah. You’re now in Psalms, going down to the book of Isaiah, chapter 14. In Isaiah 14, it says about Lucifer. Remember Lucifer? That was Satan before his name was changed to Satan. And the name Lucifer means light bearer. He actually was bearing tremendous amount of light, radiations of light. Now the Bible says light is good. All right? You look at Genesis, it says God divided the light from the darkness and God saw that the light was good. It doesn’t say that God saw the darkness was good. God saw the light was good. So everyone say light is good. The Bible says God is light, in Him there is no darkness at all. Now how many know that we are kings and sons and daughters of Light? We are children of light. He is in the light and we walk in the light, the blood of Jesus, God’s Son, cleanses us from all sin, the Bible says. That’s why we got to live in the light everything is open. I mean, we can, there’s no need to pretend before God. All right? If you have lost your temper, say, ‘God I’ve lost my temper.’ Always live in the light because the blood of Jesus can only cleanse what is exposed. Don’t be afraid to expose yourself to God. Don’t be afraid to be spiritually naked before God. He knows everything. The more you are exposed to God, the more He cleanses. The Bible says when you confess, when you are open before God you are open before man. Walk in the light and the blood of Jesus Christ keeps you clean.

Amen? So that’s good. Hallelujah. But look at Lucifer. Look at his ambition. Before you are kicked out of Heaven, Jesus says, ‘I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning.’ How many know lightning moves at the speed of light? Hundred and eighty-six thousand miles per second, according to Einstein. Lately they’ve discovered that its hundred and eighty-six thousand, two hundred and eighty-two miles per second. Okay? Doesn’t matter, he was pretty close. All right? And Jesus says, ‘I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning.’ You know, for Satan to be moved out of your life, it takes the speed of light. When you trust Jesus is out, amen? And look at Lucifer’s ambition. What was his ambition? Look at the ambition of this angelic being that God created in Isaiah 14. Look at verse 12,’ How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning? How art thou cut down to the ground, which is weakened the nations? For thou has said in thy heart, “I will ascend into heaven”.’ Obviously he was below and God was somewhere on top right?

Now I submit to you, I could be wrong in this part, but I submit to you that this earth, once upon a time belonged to Lucifer. This was his domain. But he was an angel and a good angel before he fell. And that’s why he is so jealous of man today. When the Bible says, ‘The earth has God given to the sons of man.’ God has given this earth to you and I. But he wants to take back the earth, so he did it illegally, and caused Adam and Eve to fall and bow their knee and gave the authority of this earth to Satan. So Satan has authority over this earth, so that’s why he brought tragedy, sickness and poverty into this earth. But thank God the last Adam came. And His name is Jesus. And He got back the keys of authority over this earth. And He says to you and I, that He has given us the keys of binding and loosing. So we’ve got authority over the earth today, amen! That’s why we can bind what Satan brings, and loose what he binds. And the word of God says in verse 12, ‘how art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning? How are you cut down to the ground, which weakened the nations? For thou have said in thine heart, ‘I will ascend into heaven,’ look at his ambition? Look at all the ‘I will, I will, I will, I will,’ whenever you have all the ‘I will’, and not care about ‘God’s will’, something is wrong.

Anyway, it says, ‘I will ascend into heaven; I will exalt my throne above the stars of God, above the suns. I will sit also upon the Mount of the congregation in the sides of the,’ do you see that? ‘The sides of the north’. There was an ambition in Lucifer’s heart, to make his domain on the sides of the north in the universe. Now scientists in NASA have found that on the north side of the universe, they’ve found a place called M87, and on the north side is a cluster of stars called Virgo. All right? Those of you who study astronomy, you will know this....

Let me read to you a segment of an article I got on this astronomy magazine okay? An article by Jeff Kanife (Check spelling) this scientist. It’s a May 1987 article. M87, they’ve discovered this M87, it says, ‘At the heart of the Virgo cluster, the nearest reach cluster of the galaxies, lays the giant elliptical galaxy M87.’ The north side. ‘In a universe of normal galaxies that emits so much energy as the assemblies of stars produces, M87 is in the violent minority. It generates about a million times more energy than the typical spiral galaxy, far more that can be attributed to its intrinsic stellar processes’. ‘What’s that Pastor Prince?’ Never mind, we go on. ‘The emition extent over many frequencies from radio to x-ray,’ okay, listen, ‘and most of them derive from a compact source embedded in the core of the galaxy.’ They know that the power for M87, the power that is generated, comes from a compact source in the galaxy. They do not know what source. We know its God. Heaven is the power behind the north part of the universe. All right? M87 is one of the most important galaxies in research astronomy today.

Now listen, when we are raptured, the Bible says, ‘It will happen, our bodies change when Jesus comes back, we’ll be in the light realm. Okay? Now I believe personally we will travel faster than the speed of light. Okay? But don’t worry what is like to travel faster than the speed of light, learn what is it like to the speed of light first. Okay? Many of us want to go beyond our mind. Look at what Einstein said, ‘In any or all circumstances or conditions, these force of light travels at a constant rate or speed of hundred and eighty-six thousand miles per second. It is totally unaffected by any of the variables which surround it. The closer the object approaches to this constant speed of light, the closer its length comes to zero and its weight to infinity. At the speed of light, all natural matter ceases to exist. It changes to light matter. Now listen, when Jesus was resurrected, the Bible says His body, even though you can touch and feel His body, His body was no more in this realm. Even though you can touch and feel it, it was in the light realm. That’s why He can appear in the upper room and disappear. You follow what I am saying? He’s traveling real fast. Now I’m glad because you know something? God has some tremendous plan for His children. Heaven won’t just be a place for playing the harp, floating in and out of mansions, all right? And singing Hallelujah the whole day. There are galaxies beyond galaxies and God wants us to speak the word of creation, God wants us to create and design the universe. God has plans for His children. Are you listening to what I am saying? And each plan can only be done if we can travel faster than the speed of light. Hallelujah.

Now listen, when we, when the rapture comes, listen. We got no more problems. This building is in the natural realm. We are no longer in the natural realm once we receive a new body; we are in the spiritual light realm. That’s why we can go through substance because we are no more bound by it. Are you listening to what I am saying? Just like that ‘Bring me up Scobey’ all right? He transcends matter because he is no more in the natural realm. Now even non-Christian scientists can explain this. Amen? And do you know that non-Christian scientists are the ones that discovered the north side? But Christian scientists can explain for them. Do you know that a lot of NASA scientists are Christians? Many of them, in fact they have consulted them about the Bible, before they can launch their rocket. They know about the mathematical equation of the earth and the length of its time. So even today, there are a lot of things that is not revealed to the world. But thanks be to God that God, a lot of people who think through, except Jesus Christ. There’s no more choice. Even the most logical thing there is on this earth, amen! Now listen to what I am saying, it is said by scientists, and these scientists are not Christians. They said that everything that happened on this earth, when the sunlight hits the earth, light bounces off everything, your body, everything that is matter. The light will bounce off. Which means pictures are transported from all different directions into the universe, from every event that happened on this earth....

1st Corinthians 15. Look at 1st Corinthians 15. We are talking about the resurrection of the body from the dead or when Jesus comes back. Now when Jesus comes back, verse 52, and look at 1st Corinthians 15, verse 52. ‘In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye,’ that’s real fast! Now in the Greek it says, ethomos, which means atomic second. All right? ‘At the speed of light, at the last trumpet, the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible,’ their bodies, ‘and we shall be changed’. We who are alive, we shall be changed when Jesus comes back. How shall we be changed? It’ll be so fast that, to us, who are believers, we can see each other transform, we can see each other go up and all that. But to the world, you are here now, next moment you are not. Enoch got what we’ve got, and Enoch disappeared. It all happened in a twinkling of an eye, our bodies, that’s why the rapture, you know I used to think last time during preachers who preached on rapture. Before you go up, you say, ‘Ooh Hallelujah,’ you know, and ‘I told you its going to happen one day’ and some people will go and grab my leg and say, ‘Ahh! Help me Pastor Prince! I don’ t want to die!’ and then I’ll go, ‘I told you, you never come to church, that’s why. Now you know why…’ You know, and my socks will fly up and all that, you know. But you grab some people and pull them up halfway, and say, ‘would you like to accept Jesus or I let go?’ Heehee, I used to think that its like, you know real slow but no. It’s going to happen so fast, that the world will not know we disappeared, until we have disappeared. All right? Now you see it, now you don’t. All right? But the Bible says it will happen in an atomic second.

Now the thing is this. Where are we going? We are all going to the North side. The sides of Zion, where the heavens, our Father in heaven is. Now I believe there’s a whole universe down there, amen! All right? That is beyond the North. They only seethe surface. By the way, M87 has the surface that is amber light, beautiful amber light. You know the Bible says God’s throne produces amber light? That’s in the Bible. The throne of God produces amber light....


So as we go towards the north in our new body with our new eyes, you will see first of all, with light waves out of our new eyes, we are able to see the image of maybe, 6 months ago, in last year when we saw someone. I mean when we attend a funeral or whatever, someone passed away, we can see the person. All right? We see a light wave and when we travel down, we’ll see history as it happens even before we’re born. As you go towards it, let me tell you, the journey towards the north won’t be boring. You will see every single event that happened on this earth because they are all there out there, the light matter that came into the eyes of the people on this, live on this earth, the same light matter is not lost. It is bounced off into the universe. And finally when we come to the two thousand light years, somewhere around there, when Jesus Christ died on the cross, I believe we’ll slow down. We’ll see everything that happens; Jesus’ ministry on this earth, His death on the cross. Now listen, science, people who are not Christians tell us this, scientists tell us that these light images are out there in the universe. But I know why they are out there. They are for us to enjoy. It’s like movie, you know. You’re watching a movie on your way to heaven. What happens is that you can see, David fighting against Goliath, you can see heaven and earth, how it was created. Hallelujah! You don’t have to go to heaven and say, ‘God, can I borrow a CD on David and Goliath? I’d like to see how it happened.’ And ‘David come over here.’ Amen. You see everything that happened. Every child of God will see Jesus Christ die on the cross amen! I’m telling you in that realm, in that light realm, in that spirit realm, there’s no boredom. People feeling bored because they are in this flesh, because they are lost, their spirit is crying out for God. But in that realm you can never be bored. Never, amen! Hallelujah! ...

Now the Bible says those that convert those from darkness into light, they shall shine as the stars of the heaven, He told Daniel. The Bible says you are the light of the world right? And God told Abraham, ‘your descendants, you and I, will be the stars of the heavens and the earth.’ Now we’ll be like suns, because the sun is a star isn’t it? We’ll be like the sun right a not? So we will have the same characteristics like the sun. What does the sun do? The sun absorbs particles of light, converts into hydrogen then produces a small field of energy that the sun can use. And it transmits radiations of light and energy that causes life to sprout on the earth. Now the same thing; God said ‘you are a star’ you become a star. God says, ‘you become a sun’, the same characteristics. You know what happens? When you come to God’s word, all right? The light in your spirit, remember what we said last week? Your spirit is in the light realm; your spirit is in the spirit realm. The only part of you that is in the light realm is your spirit.

That’s why you can know things before it happens. You can also know why some things happen without having the natural knowledge in your head. The more you live in the spirit realm, the more information you get that doesn’t come from your five senses. Hallelujah. That’s why when somebody tries to cheat you, you can tell a person’s intention even not knowing about the person, if you live in the spirit realm. That’s why the story I told you last time about that lady who had a dream about this person dying or whatever. Oh not that lady. That member of the church who had that dream; his head was sliced off at work, working among the cables. The cables broke and his head was sliced off in a dream. All right? The next day he came up and he saw the same scenario and his foreman say,’ go up there and do that’ He said, ‘no way’. He came from a church that believed that the Holy Spirit would show you things before it happens. And somebody else, another Christian said, ‘Ah you are so superstitious.’ He went up there, the cable broke, sliced his head, his head dropped. Now does God love his less than his person over here? No. Both are Christians, but one has learnt to live in the spirit. One has learnt to live in the light...

We, our spirit absorb the light of God’s word. The more we absorb out of God’s word, the more we radiate good radiations of light that produce life. Like the sun produces life on the earth, we produce life where there’s death. We produce healing where there’ disease. We produce glory when there’s condemnation. We become a blessing. The more light you absorb, God wants you to be a sun, a star. In other words, you have the same characteristic as the sun and you radiate light. Amen? So a man of God who is full of light, his bed is full of light. Remember Jesus’ clothes that heal the sick? Amen? Even Paul’s handkerchief touched those who are possessed with evil spirits; evil spirits will leave them, even though Paul is not there. Just borrow his handkerchief. Not a very healthy thing to borrow in the natural. And yet it is so anointed. Amazing amen? Behind the light is the anointing....

God didn’t see the darkness like us and say, ‘wah, so dark!’ And it will be darker. And the more dark, He say, ‘wah. Largie (More in Malay) dark!’ And more dark. And it is a vicious cycle that goes on and on. When you have disease, ‘ooh, argh! Pastor Prince it does not work! All these things don’t work! You see? I’m still having this pain! I’m still having that pain! And have this pain!’ The more you confess the pain; you will have nothing more than the pain. And the more you have the pain, you confess the pain and you have more pain. Before you know, you have 30-fold pain, 60-fold pain, and 100-fold pain. Jesus told a man of God one time, ‘I have told my people,’ (based on Mark 11:23) if you want something to happen ‘I have told me people’, Jesus told this man of God, ‘I have told my people they can have what they say, but they are saying what they have.’ ‘Argh! I got no money! I can’t go!’ You’re saying what you have. The more you say it, the more you strengthen it. You must say, ‘everything will be all right. God will provide for me to go to camp. It shall be well’. Amen! Call those things, which are not as though they are. There is darkness but don’t confess it! We’re not trying to say, ‘this is not Christian Science this is Christian sense. All right?’ Christian Science is saying deny everything that is evil. You know Christian Science? It is a cult. It is not Christianity. All right? God is not saying deny the existence of evil. There is evil. But don’t confess it. Don’t strengthen it with the light power of your mouth. Strengthen what you want to create. Amen.







8:43 PM

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Monday, December 04, 2006
Problems are my bread. I devour them all. This has been my line for weeks since Pastor Prince preached on Divine strength and youthfulness. Sorry that I did not update for so long because I've been busy with exams and the club. But DaddyGod has been so good to me during my absence from blogging here because I have so much to share.

First: Exams are over. Daddy God is faithful to bring me through the stressful time of revision by enlightening my eyes to see that Problems are my bread. That I will eat of it and grow stronger, and younger. That's how Caleb stopped aging. He was n't like the 10 spies who saw themselves as grasshoppers in the sight of the giants. He saw the giants as bread, to be broken, torn apart and eaten! And he didn't grow fat from eating problems because they have so much nutrition in terms of spiritual growth. He was able to eat his problems as he was conscious of how capable, how willing and how BIG God is. Thus only Joshua and him (From their generation) made it into the promised land. And 85 years later, Caleb can tell Joshua to give him Hebron (Where the strongest giant lived) and he conquered Hebron with his 3 sons! He was as strong for WAR today as he was 40 years ago.

I believe the same supernatural rejuvenating strength is coursing through my veins as I type (Or speak) because throughout this revision period, I felt mostly a sense of peace and Rest. My Daddy God is good. Even though I studied in a crowded Coffee Bean in Parkway Parade, He made the Gramaphone shop play Corrine May's CD which comprises of Christmas Carols and other forms of soothing music, like II Divo. I think its divine that my last paper was on the 1st of December, where the whole world starts to rejoice about Jesus's birth. It's impossible not to be conscious of Jesus at this time of the year, especially when you're studying.... I'm so blessed.

Oh yeah, I trust (I Know) that my exam results are good. I am expecting a B average (No Cs in Jesus' Name! Not one! ~ I am a King Priest and by my word, every controversy and every assult will be settled!) Amen! And I shall get the modules I want for next sem! (The prayers of the Righteous avail much to God).

Another area of blessing is weight loss! Heehee.... I lost 3 kg (Permanently) and I am on my way to losing another 5kg more to reach my ideal. Confessing over your weight everyday really helped (Thanks Pastor Mark for your weight loss testimony). Its good to have a faith picture instead of looking in the mirror and see all your imperfections. I know I'm already beautiful because my Daddy God says so. (I am fearfully and wonderfully made. No blemishes, no pimples, no scars, no unsightly veins, no wrinkles, no eyebags (Praise God!) and no blackheads on my face and on my skin. Already, people told me I look energetic and different. (Favor of God) and those people whom I just got to know told me I look like I'm 18 years old. YAY! (I think my younger sister looks older than me.)

Another thing that I'm believing in, is that God will resolve my unpaid phone bills. (All of them! By the end of the week!) I don't know how, but I know He's going to do it. Because Daddy God is faithful. Yes. I do not live according to my meagre resources in POSB, I live according to His super-abundant riches of Heaven. Money will pour into my account from all directions (The wealth of the sinner belongs to me! The Righteous!) I have a generous heart. I can afford to spent because I have more than enough. And because I have more than enough, I can afford to bless others! In Jesus Name Amen! Daddy God has already taken care of my money! I have more than enough to shop for December and January! He stretches my dollar and gives me the best shopping deals in town and in KL (Where I'm going) I have the money in Jesus Name!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......................... This is life!



6:13 PM

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Thursday, July 27, 2006
Why did God choose to write the Bible in Hebrew and Greek?

-Hebrew is the world's most poetic language which can portray the wisdom of God in picturesque form. It is the best language to sing praises and worship God. Eg. Songs of Solomon, Proverbs and Psalms.
-Greek is the world's most precise language. When God describes the finished work of Christ in the New testament, He chose Greek because it describes, defines and elaborates Christ's finished work as it is, leaving no chance for fallacy. God did this because He wants us to know the extent of what Christ did for us, why Christ did it and how to get the blessing, by resting.

A Principle you can use on a daily basis which will bless every area in your life. The word 'Blessing' in Hebrew is 'Barak', which also can translate as 'bowing your knee'.

When you honor God, you are blessing God. Honor in the Hebrew is very rich in it's meaning. Honor is 'Kabat' /noun is 'Kabot', which means 'heavy weight', to lend weight, to give meaning.

When you honor God, you are giving weight to His presence and to His words. Honoring someone is treating the person as important in my life. So take God and His word seriously!

Likewise the opposite of blessing is cursing 'Kalal', which means to 'lightly esteem'. 'Aral', it's noun, is to make light of the situation. Thus, when you take a person lightly, and you ignore what they say, you are cursing them without knowing it.

To Bless is to say good words. Balam blessed Israel, saying 'God does not see any sin in Israel'.
To curse is to say bad words. Jesus cursed the fig tree,' no man eat fruit from you hereafter forever.'

Thus, bad words tantamount to a curse. So say only good things so that you can see good days ahead. God's blessing makes you rich, and your toilsome labour adds nothing to it.

-Have a listening heart, to pick up the words and feelings of people whom you treat as 'little'. You bless by paying attention, listening to what they really want to say. Because when you ignore or take people lightly, you curse them. And when you do, remember that whatever you curse withers and falls away. -Don't curse the wrong thing!

Deutronomy 27:16 says 'Curse is he who shows contempt'. Thus, honor your parents especially, by giving heed to what they say, their advice, because if you ignore them, you curse them. Don't curse them. Bless them by listening.

1st Peter 3 ' Give honor that your prayers will not be hindered'. Give weight by thanking God.

-If you talk about what the devil is doing in your life, you are ignoring (cursing) God's will in your life and in doing so, you are honoring (blessing) the devil! Don't do that!

The 12 spies of Israel: 10 of them did that. They gave an evil report to Moses about Giants in the land and 'we are only grasshoppers in their sight'. Numbers 13:27-33 revealed that their report did not even mention God. They took God lightly by ignoring His presence. How? By not talking about His power, by not trusting Him, by not leaning on His promises for them. They curse God- and they died on the same day.

By Joshua and Caleb are different! In their report, God was present in whatever they say, 'The Lord will deliever us' / 'The giants are our bread!' They made light of their problems and God kept them alive. They were the only two from the previous generation to enter the promise land because they blessed God with their words! You can do that too!

And God is so faithful! He made sure they were the only two from their generation who entered the promised land. And 40 years later, Caleb at 80 years old was as strong as he was 40 years ago, still a conqueror and giant killer! God renewed his youth!

No one sees reality like God. There are 2 kinds of realities. The positive and the negative. Blessing and cursing. Choose Blessing which God has already set in front of you.

When you choose to see the blessings (no matter how little they are in your life) your heart desires to thank God for what He has done. And when you thank God, by being so grateful, you start to appreciate God and stop complaining. You know what? You make God like you very much!

He likes being with people who are appreciative of what He has done. When you thank God, you bless God. Remember, no one can out-bless God because God is a debtor to nobody. You can be certain that you'll be overwhelmed with blessings. Be God-conscious! Not devil conscious.

Your blessings does not depend on circumstances. You are blessed because of what Jesus done on the cross! You live to magnify Jesus in your life. This is faith. Not being affected by circumstances around you (no matter how bad they are).

When you are God-conscious, all things, all circumstances will abound for your good only! All things will turn around, bless and favour you! Because God is faithful to what Jesus did! Recognise that! The devil is powerless because Jesus has already defanged him at the cross.

Even Jesus Himself gave thanks! Give thanks and the blessings flow in your life. 'Sharma' in Hebrew means 'take heed'. To whatever you give heed to, you preserve and protect it in your life. I give heed to God's word and His promises in my life and I see them well preserved and they continue to stay in my life.

Thanking God for what little we have. Daddy God, I thank God that I have a boyfriend to love. I thank God that I have a family that is Christ centered. I thank God that I can go Korea to worship you and get to know you more. I thank God that I am given the chance to go university and study. I thank God for my body, so toned, so fit, so slim and so beautiful. I thank God for my face, so gorgeous, so blessed, so favoured, so loved, so fair!

The highest form of resistance is to ignore the person. So there's one idiot you have every reason and you must insult. The devil! So from now onwards, ignore the bastard. Because he is not worth your time at all. He is the prince of pride. Hurt his ego! He canot stand to be ignored.

Be like Jesus. When Jesus and His disciples went over to the other side, halfway, the devil concocted up a storm that shook the disciples to fear. Everyone panicked on the boat, except Jesus. What was He doing? Jesus was sleeping! And what woke our saviour up? Not the storm!

Like us, Jesus likes sleeping during rainy days, He know rainy days are the best to sleep! So comfortable and so cozy! Lesson you can learn from here: when the devil purposely rains in your life, be like Jesus and go to sleep, ignoring the storm.... rest because the storm will eventually pass away and you rest holding onto the promise that you know, that you know, that you know, that you know, that you know, that God is faithful and God will surely bring you over to the other side of success!!!! As you sleep, Jesus gets up and says 'Peace', and calm the storm! Rest, be still and Jesus calms the storm.

He woke up for the sake of His disciples, who forced Him to wake up! Even if you fail to keep still, when you call out to Jesus, He will rise up a standard against the storm and says 'Peace'. Against Peace, the devil's storm cannot stand. And immediately, when you rest on His peace, the storm withers and fades away. I have Shalom.

1st Samuel 17:25-31 (Story of David visiting his brother on the battle camp) Eliab, his older brother was jealous of David when he declared Goliath as an uncircumcised phlistine who dared to defy the armies of God. He said bad things to David, saying that David is just a show-off.

But look what David did; he turned away from Eliab to another soldier, ignoring Eliab! David learnt how to turn his back because he learnt how to give weight to God's presence and power.

Jesus, before raising Jairus' daughter, had to chase out all the mourners from the room, before He says, 'Tabitha, arise' and brought the girl back to life. Ignore the negativity in your life. Thank you Jesus for setting me free!!!! I love you!



8:20 PM

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Friday, April 21, 2006
-Hebrews 13:20-21 'Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, the great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, / make you conplete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever, amen.'

The title God wants us to know His by; 'Great Shepherd of the sheep'. Jesus tells Peter to feed His flock. Psalms 23 ' The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want'. Do not let this Psalm become overfamiliar to you. Be teachable to new revelations.

John 10:10 'The thief dos not come except to steal, kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.'

V9: 'I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.' / Jesus portrays Himself as the Good Shepherd who gave His life for the sheep, therefore He cannot be the thief! He has more than enough for Himself. And He wants to give me more, till I overflow with Blessings!

-Unless you see the Lord as your Shepherd, you cannot see prosperity in your life. You need to understand this relationship that you are a sheep of God's flock and your Shepherd takes good care of you.

-All great man of God were formerly Shepherds. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David etc. They know how it is like for the Shepherd to sacrifice himself for his sheep. David stuck his hands into the lion's mouth to rescue the lamb, before killing the lion. How much more God? Your Shepherd who stuck His right hand (Jesus) into the loins of Death and rescued you from hell? He climb every rock, every dangerous path where you've wandered off, he fought off wolves and rough terrains and unfathomable weathers just to track you down and save you! He didn't need to do that, but He did! Because He loves you! He loves this little lost lamb soo much that He willingly goes to the cross for You!

Just to see you saved, healed, prosperous, smart, Just to see you get good results. Remember, Jesus is the one who GAVE you good results. You already have GOOD results for your exams! Already! I receive it in Jesus Name. Humbly, graciously, with good expectations that all my papers this semester exceeds all my expectations. I see myself looking at my result slip with tears of Joy and Bewilderment, asking, ' How can GOD be THIS good! This is too good to be true!' And in my heart, You prompt me that it is true, and my heart confirms that You have been faithful, even until now. Good results comes by knowing how good YOu are to me. Of how much You paid for my freedom. Freedom not to worry about anything, which includes the exams. You took away that worry of the lack of time for revision. You took away the worry of making and made mistakes in the exams. You took away the fear of not being able to answer the questions correctly. All these you took away from me, because You love me, and because You have given me the final result even before the exam ended!

And YOu know the final result is GOOOOODDDD~!!!!! A A A A A A A A ..... TOo good to be true. Lord.... today, your sheep asks you to prosper her revision of business finance. Exceed my expectations Lord. Exceed it...... I'm awaiting your surprise! I love you too, Lord, because You first show Your love to me.



7:54 PM

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Thursday, April 13, 2006
Today is the day where all Christians should be happy. It is because Jesus Christ died and cleansed us of all our sins. He suffered on the cross, was scourged for my sickness so that I can be physically healthy and fit. He took away every curse of the old testament law that was given by Moses. I'm so glad that in spite of my weakness, I can boast in His goodness for me always.

I'm very touched by the fact that a Man is willing to die for such a scum like me. I simply don't deserve His sacrifice at all. So whatever good you see in my life, it is from God the Father, who puts me in the Beloved, to make me His righteousness. Good news?! Some people cannot accept it because it is too good and their hearts have been numbed by all the sadness of the world. Not me. I embrace this truth because it is what keeps me going in life. Without it, I am just existing in this world. There is no way I can be a testimony of myself, to Him. In the areas that I have been a blessing, it is the areas where He has changed me.

And I'm still changing. It takes a lifetime to understand the goodness of God. And it starts from the day I accepted and acknowledged His sacrifice at the Cross for my sake, my sake! Such a precious gift, how can I slap it away? How can I? But some people do, because they do not see value in His priceless gift. I'm including Christians in here as well. Salvation doesn't mean saved from hell only.... eternal life doesn't start in heaven....

The goodness of God starts now! Once you believe in your heart and speak from your mouth, Jesus Christ is my saviour and Lord, you shall be saved. Your spirit man is revived and you are spiritually seated at the Right hand of God. A position of favour, power, and love. This is where my spirit man is right now.... despite what I feel, despite what happens around me.

There are two kinds of decisions one has to make everyday... to follow one's flesh or to follow God. Sadly to say, I do not always follow God, because I still have a certain amount of pride in me. And I still need to have my heart changed in this area. But to think that even I do not follow Him, and I make stupid and regretful decisions in my life that create pain and sufferings for myself, HE STILL LOVES ME.

Incredible! No one who loves me can avoid scolding or chiding me for my wrongdoings except Him. I asked Him why and He told me that 'your sins and your wrongdoing, I remember no more'. Once, He was angry at me.... That was 2000 years ago, when Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross. Innocent as He is, He submit to God's will to save me and absorbed all the stain of my sins onto His body. God, Elohim, the Holy God saw all the unholiness on Jesus, and God judged and punished Jesus with His holy Wrath of fire and judgment on his body.... lashed it out full.... as if Jesus was I.

But the only this is... I was not on the cross, but my sins were. My sins had left me because Jesus took them. He took away my judgement. He took away my consequences. He took away my sufferings. He took away my condemnation. He took away my vulnerability, He took away my poverty... to make me Accepted, Righteous before God, prosperous, Beloved one who reign in Life! Why Why Why? I cannot explain except that HE LOVES ME...

If you are a sane human being being offered a chance to eradicate your sins through the sufferings of someone who loves you with an unconditional love, how can you refuse? How can you? So, in my shitty state, I humbly accept what He has done for me. I humbly accept the inheritance He has install for me, I humbly accept the overflowing blessings poured forth for me to say Thank You Jesus, Thank You DaddyGod for what you did to redeem me. I remember this Good Friday specially because to remind me of how good you are despite my humane state. You couldn't care less because at the right hand of God, I'm as perfect as Jesus because I've been cleansed so thoroughly to the extent Your Holy Spirit dwells in my physical body in this world.

I need not fear the devil, nor circumstance. Because the Holy Spirit guides me with peace and unrest. Unrest to tell me to avoid some paths that will land myself into danger. Thank God that You have also given me the power to dictate my life! To speak good! You laid before me after Your sacrifice... blessing and cursing. You asked me to choose blessing because you know it will make me happy... and today, I choose to be blessed.

I declare as an acceptance of your power unto me; My results for HL103 is good! Not because of what I do! No! But because of your favour all over my paper! If God is for me, who can be against me? Dr J cannot be against me because he is lesser than God. And surely, I will have a good grade unto the glory of God. I will get more than a B for HL103. No Cs at all for all my exams, in Jesus Name. For whatever I say, when I do not doubt, but believe in my heart and say, I SHALL HAVE WHATSOEVER I SAY!!! HAllelujah for Good Friday! Because it is the day the church is being born! The day power that was the devil's to rule the earth has been shifted to me, a Child of God! Nothing can stop me from having good results! NOTHING!

Because you have made me a High Priest and a King. And where the word of a King is, there is power! I am of the Royal Priesthood and by my word, EVERY CONTROVERSY AND EVERY ASSULT IS SETTLED!!!! I have what I say so! And so I declare by the goodness of God I am greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved by Jesus who died for me and ressurected me in Him! I rest in His goodness and mercy that followeth me all the days of my life. And I look forward with good expectation to good results beyond my imagination! Thank God for Good Friday!



8:10 PM

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